Resisting Bad Latin Jokes One Minute At A Time

Look, there are seven additional songs on the reissue of All Hail West Texas that came out today, which I hereby formally urge you to buy, in the hopes that an album recorded entirely on a boombox which was already over ten years old and is now old enough to drink might enter the Billboard charts at number one, enraging imaginary dudes in suits on the upper floors of no-longer-extant major label buildings on either coast. “We didn’t pump all these cross-promotional dollars into our 7/23 release date just to be upstaged by some punk from Iowa!” they might say, ignoring that I haven’t lived in Iowa for ten years and that I’m technically from Indiana. Will these imaginary strawmen in suits never get anything right?

Listen, big-label dudes in suits. The Mountain Goats are going all the way to the top whether you like it or not. For years you’ve been trying to hold us down, but we just keep getting stronger. You have mergers, but we’re on Merge, which means we get the capital M, which reminds everybody of that awesome movie where Peter Lorre scares the daylights out of everybody. The point I was initially going to make, anyway, was that there are seven songs written during the sessions for the album which now appear for the first time on it: either as downloadable extras if you buy the bad-ass gatefolding vinyl (the download code includes the entire album, too), or appended to the end of the CD after a brief moment of silence. Traditionally, these sorts of things are called “bonus tracks.” “Bonus” means “good” in Latin, which I used to study in another lifetime. It’s singular, not plural, but we gotta let that slide. I personally feel that we whose gothness knows no limits should refer to our bonus tracks as “malus tracks” but I haven’t been able to get any other goths on board with this. Poseurs all! Anyhow, once again I seem to have strayed from my theme. That order link from Merge again. Free shipping! Malus tracks! No? Nefas tracks, maybe? I will personally tour for free if major label guys start routinely referring to their supplementary material as “nefas tracks,” but I’m not holding my breath.