John D. to Doctor, Cancels Orlando and St. Augustine, Pledges Fealty

Dear Citizens of Orlando and St. Augustine,
You know how much I love you, I hope, but I am too sick to play tonight and tomorrow. That is all there is to it. I live up the road from you, and I’m going back up that road this morning to see my doctor. I will be back as soon as I can to make this up to you, if I have to walk it. OK maybe not if I have to walk. That is like a stupid long walk. I am really, really sorry about this. Tried to push through but – well, as a former nurse, I could give you a pretty vivid description of some secretions this morning; I always took pride in my charting. But I will spare you, and probably regale you with long stories about it between songs when I see you next.
Dear Citizens of Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, Boston, and New York,
I will be resting in a pyramid of chakra-renewing violet fire, etc., from now until Thursday, reclaiming the energy stolen from me by whatever evil bacteria/virus/alien life form has been tormenting me for the last several days. I expect to obtain my return-to-work papers from the doctor tomorrow and to get right back on the road in time for the D.C. show & all further points north.
yours in the expectation of fuller more radiant health,
John D.