Quote
mike10k
is this all that life is?
grow up. go to school. have some fun times in your teen and twenties. maybe get a job, find a spouse. start a family in your thirties, enjoy that as much as possible, which won't be much since both you and your spouse will have to work full time and day care costs an arm and a leg. work full time until you're 65 then do more fun stuff, hopefully you don't lose track of your spouse along the way. watch your family grow as you shrink smaller and smaller. then you get old or sick, all your friends are dead. your spouse dies, all grey. buncha bad stuff happens like weeds all around the good stuff flowers we once tended. we go to a hospice or caretaking facility and turn into dust. all alone.
i think that's fucking bullshit!
Mike I dug up my password cause these post's deserve a response.
I am no wordsmith and would make a mess of putting my thoughts into words, but what you have written Mike sums up my understanding of life over the past few years.
What you have described rots my brain on a daily basis and is getting worse. Im not sure if its the same for anyone else on the forums but I set some basic expectations for myself as partner and a father, a block of land with a basic shed to live in and eventually a house - the goals I have set become more out of reach every day.
Depression is a luxury that is out of the question, I work seven days with a golf ball size lump in my arm pit that is a 8 out of 10 on the pain scale, Ive driven that many miles in the last 20 years its causing me to go blind. Every time you feeling like giving up and calling it a day you are faced with the fact that giving up, depression and having some time off is not an option.
This life makes us do shit against our will and better judgement the older we get.
What you have described Mike is not depression in my brain dead opion,its much fucking worse. For me it started with a feeling of been numb - a total loss of connection with the people and events around you.
For a while I used to get back on the motivation path and say fuck it, ignore the missing teeth and the pain various old age shit is causing, fuck the $140K debt that doesnt seem to move, etc, etc. I would say like a lot of people on this forum have the same problem - a thick skin is never thick enough.
The motivation path always crumbles and I find my way back to these thoughts of what the fuck is this all about?
I was reading the other day about someone saying goodbye to a dying relative, at the end it had the following: "The dead would take us with them if they could"
Sounds about right.