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I’m totally into this zine, since it’s something I think about myself. This is with regard to misogynistic artists or works, and more: some of the best things were made by fascists and anti-Semites after all. And issue #2 covers three of my great loves: the Mountain Goats, Woody Allen, Southern rap.

To me, this is a fantastic project; I’m donating to get the first 2 issues. At the same time, I’m a bit unsure about the inclusion of “No Children” by the Mountain Goats, written on by B. Michael Payne. I would say that it’s a pretty unproblematic song. Or, more accurately, I can see how it can easily be called misogynistic, and then easily defended. (Of course, I say all this not knowing what the article will actually say, so I could be way off the mark. What follows is all speculation. Hope I don’t embarrass myself.)

So I’ll make the assumption that it’s the chorus we’re supposed to rankle at, particularly in its first form:

in my life I hope I lie/And tell everyone you were a good wife/And I hope you die/I hope we both die

And yeah, that’s not the most pleasant sentiment. Not just for the whole “wishing death” bit, but also for the judgement the narrator places on his wife (as though he’d be allowed to, as though there’s some “standard” for wives, and so on). But here’s where I’d first pull it up: the narrator, the man in the Alpha Couple(1), is not someone you’d want to identify with(2). He and his wife are drunks, and are at this stage pretty bad for each other. So it’s easy to just go “OK, it’s a song narrated by a not-so-good guy,” and you could almost be done with it. You don’t have to buy into his position or agree with him. Furthermore, and this is hardly revelatory, the Alpha husband certainly doesn’t correspond to the singer, John Darnielle. Not only has Darnielle clarified that all (or most of) his early characters are fictional, one look at his Twitter shows you he’s a totally rad feminist. (I met him earlier this year and told him how cool it was, and we talked briefly about it. I loved it and I love the guy.)

Those are two very simple arguments there. But I’d also say the song can be pretty gender-neutral. Aside from that problematic “wife,” of course. What I mean is that the sentiment can easily apply for both members: at this stage, the Alpha Couple are doing it to each other, they’re both in the plot to drink each other to death. The Alpha wife, even if she’s not speaking here, probably thinks the same thing of her husband. If she did get her space, she’d likely have her own version of the song, with all the same wishes(3). (I say all this because the Alpha Couple also always seem so alike. I wouldn’t say interchangeable, but they’re more like two sort-of people: the Couple aspect is the important part of them.)

Oh, and the whole “wishing death” sentiment is arguably softened by the narrator implicating themselves in it. I’d say it’s not even a case of “I just want you to die,” with an afterthought of “I should die too.” The sentiment isn’t entirely from hostility. It’s more like “we’ve both fucked this up; we both ought to go.” The narrator always knows he’s just as bad: the song’s first lines(4) I think indicate this.

Now obviously, these are all basic points, derived from the simplest reading of the song as misogynistic, and made in a light-hearted tone. Payne may have found something else about “No Children” to make it problematic. I don’t know who Payne is, or if they have some background that might make them more intuitive to whatever the song’s problem may be. Everything here is my idiot brain just expressing mild curiosity at the song’s inclusion. But hey, I had these words, I thought I’d write ‘em down.

I guess, briefly put: the narrator isn’t someone you’d want to agree with, and he’s fictional; he also isn’t Darnielle, and Darnielle isn’t a misogynist; the song’s mostly gender-neutral, and the sentiment is mutual; that ominous wish for death is not hostile.

(1) I’m just assuming reader knowledge of the Alpha Couple in tMG mythology. Otherwise, look it up. I’ll continue to use the term “Alpha” in this anyway.

(2) That’s not to say I don’t have a lot of affection for them. Lots of fans do; John Darnielle himself has some as well, I think.

(3) I also briefly considered the reading that it doesn’t have to be a man and a woman in this relationship, and it could be a woman and a woman—but I’m pretty sure that other songs/other sources have established that it’s male/female here.

(4) Fuck, just look ‘em up.

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Update! I posted on Tumblr about this and the two editors have responded. It's not how it sounded in the original Kickstarter description, and they'd edited it accordingly. See here: [heartbarf.tumblr.com]